As we flip the calendar to a fresh year, it's natural to think about new beginnings and positive changes. While we're busy making our own promises to hit the gym or eat more vegetables, have you ever wondered what resolutions your furry friend might make?
If dogs could write their own New Year's resolutions, they'd probably be a mix of heartfelt promises and honest admissions about their less-than-perfect behavior. From the perspective of a devoted dog owner who knows their pet's quirks inside and out, here are the top 10 resolutions your dog would likely make for the coming year.
Let's be honest – if your dog had opposable thumbs and could write, this would definitely be at the top of their list. That leftover pizza slice, the cooling cookies, or even that stick of butter you left out for five minutes – it's all fair game in their eyes.
My neighbor's Golden Retriever, Max, once managed to eat an entire Thanksgiving turkey while the family was setting the table in the next room. The speed and stealth involved was honestly impressive, though the aftermath wasn't pretty for anyone involved.
This resolution might sound like: "I promise to resist the tempting smells wafting from the kitchen counter, even when nobody is watching. I will remember that good things come to those who wait – and sit nicely by their food bowl."
The reality? This resolution usually lasts about as long as it takes for you to leave a sandwich unattended. But hey, it's the thought that counts, right?
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Every dog owner has been there – standing in the park, calling their dog's name repeatedly while their pet suddenly develops selective hearing. It's like they transform into a furry teenager who pretends not to hear you.
Dogs probably recognize this as one of their biggest shortcomings. They know that look of embarrassment on your face when other dog owners watch your pup completely ignore your calls while their well-trained pets come running immediately.
Your dog's internal monologue might be: "I will work on my recall skills and remember that coming when called doesn't mean playtime is over forever. I will resist the urge to play keep-away just because it's fun to watch humans run around looking frustrated."
The key to helping them stick to this resolution is making coming when called more rewarding than whatever they're currently doing. High-value treats and lots of praise can work wonders.
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Accidents happen, but most dogs feel genuinely bad about indoor mishaps. They understand the house rules, but sometimes excitement, anxiety, or just poor timing gets the better of them.
This resolution covers everything from holding it until they get outside, to not drinking an entire water bowl right before bedtime, to understanding that marking territory doesn't apply to the living room furniture.
One dog owner shared how her puppy seemed to have a sixth sense for carpet versus hardwood floors – always managing to have accidents on the most expensive rugs in the house. It was like he had a built-in radar for the worst possible spots.
Your dog might resolve: "I will give clearer signals when I need to go outside, and I will try to hold it even when I'm really excited about guests arriving. I will also work on not drinking excessive amounts of water right before bedtime."
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Dogs have a complicated relationship with destruction. They don't mean to ruin things – they're just expressing their natural instincts to chew, dig, and explore. But somewhere in their minds, they probably understand that shredding your expensive running shoes wasn't their best decision.
The frustrating part is when they destroy their own favorite toys. It's like watching someone eat their own birthday cake and then cry because it's gone. Dogs seem to feel genuine regret about this destructive tendency.
A realistic resolution might be: "I will channel my chewing energy toward appropriate toys and bones. When I feel the urge to destroy something, I will remember that my rope toy is more suitable than the couch cushions. I will also try to understand the difference between my toys and human belongings."
Providing appropriate outlets for natural behaviors is key to helping dogs succeed with this resolution. Puzzle toys, chew bones, and regular exercise can redirect that destructive energy.
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If dogs could vote, bath time would probably be banned by an overwhelming majority. The struggle is real for both dogs and their owners – the hiding, the trembling, the desperate attempts to escape, and the post-bath revenge zoomies.
Most dogs probably recognize that their dramatic reactions to bath time are a bit over the top. They understand that baths are necessary, but their instincts tell them that getting wet is somehow a threat to their very existence.
Your dog's bath time resolution might sound like: "I will try to remember that baths are temporary and that I always feel better afterward. I will work on not hiding under the bed when I hear the water running, and I will attempt to stand still for at least thirty seconds during the actual washing process."
Some dogs might even admit: "I will try not to immediately roll in the dirt after my bath, even though it feels really good and helps me smell like myself again."
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Beyond bath time, regular grooming activities can be challenging for many dogs. Nail trims, ear cleaning, and brushing can feel invasive and scary, leading to fidgeting, whining, or outright resistance.
Dogs probably understand that grooming is important for their health and comfort, but their natural instincts make it difficult to stay calm during these procedures. They might feel guilty about making these necessary activities so stressful for everyone involved.
A grooming resolution could be: "I will work on standing still during nail trims and remember that the nail clippers are not instruments of torture. I will try to enjoy being brushed instead of treating it like an attack on my personal space."
Many dogs might also resolve to be more cooperative at professional grooming appointments, recognizing that their anxiety makes the experience harder for everyone.
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In households with multiple pets, dogs often recognize that their relationships with other animals could use some work. Whether it's respecting the cat's personal space, sharing toys, or not getting overly excited during playtime, there's usually room for improvement.
Dogs might feel bad about their sometimes overwhelming enthusiasm when trying to play with smaller or less energetic pets. They don't mean to be bullies – they just express friendship differently than cats or smaller dogs.
Your dog might resolve: "I will remember that not everyone wants to play wrestling games at 6 AM. I will work on reading body language better and backing off when my housemates need space. I will also try to understand that the cat's food is not community property."
This resolution often extends to better behavior around neighborhood cats during walks, where the instinct to chase can be overwhelming.
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The doorbell rings, and suddenly your well-behaved dog transforms into a jumping, barking, spinning tornado of excitement. While enthusiasm for guests can be endearing, most dogs probably recognize that their greeting style could use some refinement.
Dogs understand that visitors don't always appreciate being jumped on or having their personal space invaded by an overly excited furry host. They might feel conflicted between their natural urge to greet everyone enthusiastically and their desire to be good hosts.
A visitor-related resolution might be: "I will work on containing my excitement when people come over. I will try to remember that sitting politely gets me more attention than jumping up and potentially knocking people over. I will also practice my 'indoor voice' when announcing arrivals."
This resolution is particularly challenging because greeting behaviors are deeply ingrained and driven by pure joy – which makes it hard to suppress.
From the mailman to falling leaves, from other dogs on TV to mysterious sounds in the night, some dogs feel compelled to provide running commentary on everything happening in their environment. While alerting their family to potential threats is part of their job description, they probably recognize when their alarm system gets a bit oversensitive.
Dogs might feel torn between their protective instincts and the knowledge that barking at the neighbor's wind chime for twenty minutes straight isn't really necessary. They understand that excessive barking can be stressful for their families and annoying for neighbors.
Your dog's noise resolution could be: "I will work on distinguishing between real threats and everyday occurrences. I will try to limit my barking to situations that actually require attention. I will also experiment with other ways to communicate my observations that don't involve waking up the entire neighborhood."
Some dogs might specifically resolve to stop barking at their own reflection or at dogs they see on television.
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Despite all their quirky behaviors and training challenges, dogs are incredibly aware of how much their humans do for them. They might feel guilty about taking their comfortable lives for granted or not showing enough gratitude for daily walks, regular meals, and constant care.
This final resolution would be the most heartfelt: "I will remember to show my appreciation for everything my humans do for me. I will give extra cuddles, bring them my favorite toys more often, and try to be the best companion I can be. I will work on all my other resolutions not just for myself, but because I want to make my family proud."
Dogs might also resolve to be more patient with training, understanding that their humans are trying to help them be their best selves. They could promise to wag more, judge less, and continue being the loyal, loving companions that make all their mischief worthwhile.
This resolution acknowledges the deep bond between dogs and their families – a relationship built on unconditional love, mutual patience, and the understanding that nobody's perfect, but everyone's trying their best.
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While these resolutions are written from a humorous perspective, they reflect real behaviors that many dog owners work on throughout the year. The beautiful thing about dogs is that they live each day with enthusiasm and optimism, making every day a fresh start.
Whether your dog achieves these resolutions or not, remember that the journey of training and bonding is ongoing. Some days will be better than others, and that's perfectly normal. The most important resolution – loving each other unconditionally – is one that dogs master from day one.
As you work together on these goals throughout the year, celebrate the small victories and be patient with the setbacks. After all, if we held ourselves to the same standard of immediate forgiveness and boundless optimism that our dogs show us every day, we'd all be better at keeping our own resolutions too.
